When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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