it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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