well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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