Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
