he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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