You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
