He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
