i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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