Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize