Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
