using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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