My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
