cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They have beer where we have blood.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize