spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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