i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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