i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
