yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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