i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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