Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
