yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
