pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
