He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize