I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
