You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
