***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
