don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
