Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the condom got lost in my hair
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
