It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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