I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
