Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
