Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
