I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
