I like to think it a success when the cops are called
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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