Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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