You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize