I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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