I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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