oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
