Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
