Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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