My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
