like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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