You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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