i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
