What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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