the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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