Your mouth is God's brothel.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love having hate sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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