It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
