honey bunches of taint.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
