Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
kristin has been a bad kristin
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
