rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
