I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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