They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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