if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
