i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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