I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Randomize
