Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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