just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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