I can feel you judging me through the phone.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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