I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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