I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
