I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
