hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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