yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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