the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
