WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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