I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
