just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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