i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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