We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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