cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
