first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
